Well, guess what just happened! There will be a more detailed post that may in fact have something to do with my life up today or tomorrow or so, but I just wanted to share my pleasant surprise. Just when I was starting to lose some faith in our smooth President, he reels me back in! I don't even really care if this goes anywhere, just seeing a politician take a stand by one of his professed campaign values is downright the mental version of a Klondike bar.
Mmmmm, Klondike bar....

I believe love is primarily a choice and only sometimes a feeling. If you want to feel love, choose to love and be patient.
-Real Live Preacher.com

Well, it's been a while. Since it's now the day after Valentine's Day (or Dia de San Valentin here), and god knows I had not got anything better to do, I figured I'd do a sort of meta post about Valentine's Day, love, and my slightly wacky theories about the aforementioned...stuff. Also, I'd like to apologize for the interesting situation with the theme. I liked the old one, but it kept eating stuff I put in. Then I tried another one that I also liked, but it crashed every school computer I tried to load it on (not to mention my Kindle), so I guess we're back to square one. Hello, old one! The sidebar widgets are gonna take forever to sort out, but no one used anything but the weather one anyway, so who cares? ANYway...
Unless mentioned, NONE of this stuff is in order from my favorite or anything like that. So, without further ado, I give you how I wasted my Valentine's Day!!

First off, let's go for the songs! This list is not complete, since I made the mistake of putting all this in a playlist on my Ipod, which crashed yesterday and deleted all my playlists. So, here are (some of) my top songs about love. A few notes: except for the first three, these are in no particular order. Also, I mean love in the general sense, non necessarily romantic love.

1. L-O-V-E by Nat King Cole
This song has a lot of versions, but this is the best. I also recommend the recording off his Best Of album. Really, there's nothing else to say about this. It's the sweetest song I know of.

2. All You Need Is Love by The Beatles
Another obvious one. Also, the version sung by Jim Sturgess in Across The Universe is quite good.

3. Almost Like Falling In Love by Nat King Cole
Am I trying to tell you something with that 2 of the best love songs are sung by Nat King Cole? Yes, yes I am. You may recognize this from the end of Groundhog Day.

4. Deliver Me by Beloved
This one could be pretty hard to come by, but it's worth it. I love this song so much it is one of maybe 50 which has weathered the dangerous journey over all my technological appliances since I got it. Sure, I re-download things all the time, but to be purposefully transferred really says something.

5. Fell In Love With A Girl by The White Stripes
Not exactly about eternal love, but then, how much of life is? Also, The White Stripes rule.

6. I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) by The Proclaimers
Who doesn't love this song? I would explain more, but I think I'll let Ted and Marshall tell the rest:



7. Love and Hope by Ozomatli
This is less about romantic love and more about love in a worldly sense, but I always like to think of Valentine's Day in terms of love in general. Also, no playlist is complete without Ozomatli. Ozomatli rocks!

8. Where Is The Love? by The Black-Eyed Peas
Arguably the last really good song they've done. Again, about love in general. I recommend clearing some space to dance to this one.

9. Burnin' Love by Elvis Presley
Hail to the King, baby!
Also, the Wynonna version isn't to bad.

10. Love Song by Sarah Bareilles
I know this isn't really a romantic song so much, but it IS about love, and let's face it, Sarah Bereilles sings it real purty.

11. One Love by U2
U2 does lots of songs about love, but I like this one. Also very good is the Keziah version off the In The Name of Love: Africa Celebrates U2 album.

12. Bubbly by Colbie Callat
Sue me. I love this song. I think it's sweet.
Shut up.

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
-H. L. Mencken


Movies (very much not in order except for the first one)

1. Imagine Me & You
Probably one of the only non-comedic romantic movies I can actually watch without getting bored or falling asleep. Plus, Lena Headey is so cute, even when she's not being Sarah Connor. And it's all British. And it has Giles. Dancing. Really, what more could you want? *warning: read the back of the box. Not everybody might like this one*

2. Bride & Prejudice
A modern-day, British-Bollywood retelling of the Austen classic. Basically, a bunch of varyingly smart, pretty Indian girls tearing down London, Los Angeles, and Amritsar. With lots of singing. It might take a particular kind of person to like, but is a good add-on for someone who liked Bend It Like Beckham but wanted more singing.

3. Philadelphia Story
Although it's definitely got that lovely misogyny so rampant in movies from this era, and Cary Grant's a bit of a wanker (but then, when isn't he?), this movie is still excellent. Katherine Hepburn at her sarcastic best.

4. Zombieland
Young love, gore, crazy Texans, random disregard for the English language, AND blatant misuse of a beloved folk-country instrument. What more could you ask for?

5. Pride and Prejudice
Can't really not mention this (while I am very pointedly not mentioning Wuthering Heights or Gone With The Wind. Or Twilight. VERY pointedly.) While of course the movie can't see the book with that special new telescope (explained by Hank Green), the only rendition I really like is the Keira Knightly one. For some reason I couldn't really get into all this until about 4 months ago, when it played on HBO and I laughed until I cried. That said, I sincerely recommend the book, especially if you are one of those people who think Rhett and Scarlett were the be-all end-all of romance. Also one of the only period-speak books which is so sarcastic you will laugh until you almost pee. Trust me, mother-recommended, daughter-approved (I love you, mom!)

6. The Thin Man
What, you thought all romances were about when 2 people first meet? This movie comes in on any list of purely excellent movies, but in romance it is especially good. The completely unwavering love, devotion, and snark Nick and Nora Charles share is something I have yet to see replicated anywhere (except possibly by my parents). My daydream is to someday have a relationship this happy. Also, you will never see as much booze consumed by 2 people anywhere in film again. Ever.

7. Mr. And Mrs. Smith
I still believe this is actually a documentary of the everyday lives of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Just sayin'.

8. Fantastic Mr. Fox
The closest thing I think you'll find to a romance for kids. The voice talents of George Clooney and Meryl Streep make the characters even more fun. This one is worth watching any time, I love it.

9. The Matrix
What? You thought this was just about philosophy and fighting the man and looking badass in sunglasses and leather indoors? Look again. In fact, in the end it's all a love-can-conquer-death situation. Plus, you know, there's Morpheus, and they blow a bunch of stuff up. Wooo!

10. Benny and Joon
This is really the only 'normal' romance flick on this list, so that might clue you in to my tastes right there. Johnny Depp is all young and cute and keeps doing crazy tricks with hats and stuff (and doesn't he look a lot like a certain very tall skinny friend of mine who recently cut most of his hair off?). Also, this is the movie that made a certain song very famous (see above).

11. His Girl Friday
This movie is so funny and brilliant you really won't realize it's even a romance until it's over. Seriously.

12. Hellboy
Proof that cross-species and cross-dimension love can be real. Never thought you'd be rooting for the giant red demon-creature to hook up with Selma Blair? Soon you will.

13. The Mummy
For some reason, my mom doesn't like Brenden Fraser, so she won't watch this movie, but I think the chemistry between Fraser and Rachel Weisz is so cute, I don't even mind all the dorky archeological faux pas. Of course, when someone's running from an evil undead computer-generated monster and they knock over a vase and you wince when the vase breaks, that might be clue you have a problem...

14. The Proposal
Like I said, I usually despise romantic comedies (at least any that came out in the last 20 years), but this is one exception. This is the movie which made me forgive Ryan Reynolds for Buried, which makes it o.k. for him to do Green Lantern. Whew!

15. Howl's Moving Castle
As usual, read the book. But in this case, the book is so different and Miyazaki is such a genius, this story about a downtrodden young woman cursed to look like an old woman and hired as a cleaning woman in the giant walking creature-house of an irresponsible young sorcerer is really very sweet. I know. Hayao Miyazaki has never done anything bad.

The Honorable Mention Shpeel
See, as you may have realized, my problem with a majority of romance films is that that's all they are: romance. Real life isn't like that (or it shouldn't be), so why do we watch movies about impossibilities? Or rather, why not impossibilities like romance and giant robots (Transformers, the first one only)-a note: I will watch anything with giant robots. I have a very big geek spot there, aliens and romance (Independence Day, we love Will Smith!), metal 'prostheses' and romance (Iron Man), gratuitous gore and romance (Planet Terror, or the new show The Walking Dead. Seriously, dude travels the countryside during a zombie apocalypse looking for his family without even any evidence that they are even alive? If that's not love, what is?), big blue cat people and romance....and Michelle Rodriguez (Avatar. Dude changes species for his girl. That's romantic right there). BTW, if you like Michelle Rodriguez (and didn't barf watching Planet Terror), than you're gonna love Machete.

"You make me understand how wonderful it is for little lizards when they find that one special rock that's perfect for sunning themselves on. You make me lizard-happy."
-Randy K. Milholland


The Lists
Well, since we have now finished with the more obvious stuff, I made some wierder stuff up! First of all, cutest couples!

My parents.
You guys are some of the most cutestest people ever. I miss you!

Zoe and Walsh from Firefly.
Come on fellow nerds! Back me up! Oh, Joss. We miss this so much.

Lily and Marshall from How I Met Your Mother
I know lots of people don't watch this anymore, although I don't know why. NPH sure as snot hasn't stopped being funny! But Lily and Marshall are just so cute and joined at the hip. And they always back each other up.

Ellen Degeneres and Portia (De Rossi) Degeneres
To quote Castle:
Kevin: I'm telling ya, true commitment is a thing of the past. I mean, name one happily married couple.
Castle: DeGeneres and De Rossi.
Jon: Ooh. I think he's got you there, bro.
-Nanny McDead, Season 1


"All love that has not friendship for its base, is like a mansion built upon sand."
-Ella Wheeler Wilcox


And now,
The Best Bromances on TV! (come on, you know you want to)


1. Sam and Dean Winchester (Supernatural)
I stick by my boys. Plus, it's true. They've each died to save the others life like, what, three times now? Something like that. And the bro thing gets an extra point since they are brothers.

2. John Watson and Sherlock Holmes (Sherlock Holmes canon)
I was referring to the characters played by Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch in BBC's modern-day reboot Sherlock, but the point stands anywhere. These two have been uncontested bros for, like, ever.

3. George Sands and John Mitchell (Being Human)
And I am talking about the UK Being Human, because I can't stand the U.S. one. They met in a back alley when Mitchell told off some fellow vampires who were going to beat George to death over the longstanding cultural dislike between vampires and werewolves, and they've pretty much been getting pissed down at the pub together every week ever since. I love this show.

4. Will Truman and Grace Adler (Will & Grace)
Snigger. Tell me I'm wrong. Another show I love.

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-Matt Groening


Best Breakup Music Video
I figured there was enough stuff for normal happy people, how about something to cheer up those people who's Valentine's Day SUCKED? I have never found a Pink video I didn't love. I particularly adore the bit where she's riding her riding lawnmower down the street in morning day traffic, and the fact that the 'i'm gonna drink my money, not gonna pay his rent' line seems to be a reference to coffee...

'So What' by P!nk


Love is not a bandage to cover wounds.
-Hugh Elliott

Love Yourself
Here's another bit from Pink that should buoy you up if you're feeling down on yourself (warning: as the name should clue you in, it does have swearing and the like). Also, great way to get my Tina Majorino fix since Veronica Mars went off air. At least I can see Kristin Bell in other stuff (like this. Can't wait!)

'Fuckin' Perfect' by P!nk



A good relationship is like fireworks: loud, explosive, and liable to maim you if you hold on too long.
-Jeph Jacques

Stuff To Cheer You Up
Now that all the normal bases are covered, what about those of us who were shocked to come in to school and find it decked out in red and pink? What about people who have no one to get Valentines from and are feeling a little left out? Well, let's try some self love here.

More Pink

'Raise Your Glass' by P!nk



Movie:
All About Steve
For some reason, they marketed this as a romance, which it is not, so people got all pissed when they went to see it and instead got Sandra Bollock being brilliant as an odd young woman who falls madly and randomly in love with some dude she just met. The dude, for obvious reasons, takes off. The young lady follows. But instead of them realizing they're really meant to be together or something, they end up on good terms, the young lady has a couple of adventures and makes some new friends, and in the end realizes she doesn't need a guy to define her. I smiled all the way through this.

Song:


Beautiful Day by U2
The music video's a little silly, but this is my favorite song of all time. I think it can cheer up anyone.


Maybe kissing is sort of like nature's coffee.
-Scott Westerfeld


And, as they say, That's All, Folks!
Another post will be up soon, probably full of odd little anthropology related stuff and giant space weasels and all. Like normal.
Enjoy the heck out of the rest of your week, and here it is, you're moment of Zen (apologies to Jon Stewart):

I've decided that I will probably never actually do an updated, coherent, cohesive, 'up-to-this-moment' post, so I might as well just do one of the normal kind and hope it fills in the gaps. As some of you should know, I have now moved to my second family. They consist of my very lovely host mother, Lucha, who is a teacher (although not at me school. I think she does grade school. Brave woman.); my host father Pablo, who is a cop, and also very nice. He wants to help me with my Spanish (oddly, my accent, the one thing I was best at when I got here has been slipping without my realizing it). He will probably be in my good book for pretty much ever, since he was the one who told me very seriously that, after much consideration, he thought I was about 85% fluent. I don't know if I agree with that, but it was such a nice thing to hear from anyone anyway. I have 2 host sisters, but the one I actually knew before and was really looking forward to living with, Melissa, just started university. In Jalapa. So, I won't see her anytime soon, darn it. The sister I am living with, Ingrid, is 14 and in high school (prepa) too, but not my school. Also in the house is my host brother, also named Pablo (he shall be reffered to as Pablito for difference). He is actually a lot like an 18 year old Tristan, except with fewer video games. And he's at least borderline nice to me at all times. And he can drive. So not like a real brother at all. Hi, Tristan! There's also a semi-constant parade of non-residents coming through the house and essentially behaving like they live there. I will now endevour to introduce the most important ones. Anouk, y'all should know, is our 16 year old German exchange student. This was her last family (she's now with her second, which will be my last), but she comes through every couple of days. For the next month or so she's on crutches, too. She fell while helping give her new host sister a bath and fractured her foot. Louis, who is a relation of the family (just don't ask me to explain how). He's in his 20's and currently studing for his taxi drivers (driver? driving? friggin English) license. He shows up and hangs around, helps carry things, does odd jobs. Mari, who is la muchacha, which is someone a lot of people around here have. Sort of like a housekeeper/maid, but the relationship is different. I can't really explain it, it's a Mexican thing. I have learned a couple new things here. Never use the middle burner on the stove unless you want to wake up the whole neighborhood. Never leave your personal bar of soap in the bathroom overnight. Never assume the message will get there if you have to pass it through more than one person. Never, ever go near the dog when he has been anywhere near the fish pond. And never assume you killed it the first time (see yesterday's post). I've also done some new things. I've watched Fellowship of the Ring on HBO and said all the lines. With voices. I found an alcoholic drink I love. It's some kind of cocktail that tastes like a Dreamsicle smoothie. But with alcohol. I accidentally set fire to a role of toilet paper. No one died. Shut up. Now, life goes on, uniterupted. The original point of this post was to comment on exactly how wacky the world is nowadays. Here's some stuff that happened this week, just to prove my point: Traffic rumbled to a halt in Cambridgeshire, England which seems to have involved a truck exploading. I can only figure the traffic was stopped because everyone got out to watch the road being covered in a snow of duck feathers. I'm serious. A little closer to home (or at least to my home), it snowed in Juarez, Mexico for one of the only times in recorded history. Now, it may seem like the slight dusting they recieved might be a little wussy to the northern Americans (get it? get it? bad geography humor) who are being buried under mountains of snow and cold. But for those of us down south who have never even seen snow, take it from someone who has been trying to explain what real cold is for 6 months, you gotta see this to belive it. So, when the almighty snowstorm of the north sprinkled over the border, bringing with it 9 degree temperatures, life shuddered to a halt south of the border, and the Governor declared a state of alert. Hundreds of homeless people who would, in normal circumstances have been fine, migrated to shelters to avoid the cold. Planes stopped, schools closed, power died, streets were deserted. Weird, huh? Also, the oldest woman in the world, 115-or-so-year-old Eunice Sanborn passed away in her Texas home this Monday. The world will mourn her passing. Next up, Georgia's Bess Cooper. What is it about the South? And this has nothing to do with the week or really, life in general, but here's something that should make starving college students very happy.

Note: I recorded a 10 minute video of me going around my new house, but when I tried to download it from my camera so I could upload it here, my POS computer decided it was a good time to update and restart my camera interface application without prompting me, which not only locked up and then crashed the system, but appearently corrupted the file on my camera. So, I will be going home and re-recording it to try again tomorrow, and just hoping against hope it hasn't corrupted the actual camera chip or something, like it did it my flashdrive. Boycott Dell.

I know this is no way to come back from a hiatus, but I am so worried and depressed about this, I just thought I should spread it around. Anybody up on world events should have heard something about the situation in Egypt (that's what they call major...*ahem* incidents nowadays, 'situations). I would like to take this moment to shout out to Cody for his consistent Twitter and Facebook posts on the subject. Mexico is a little starved for major news avents from the rest of the world, so without him I probably wouldn't have found out about this for months. As a lot of the people who've had to be locked in car with me for any length of time should know, it has long been one of my dreams to visit the Museum of Egyptian Antiquities in Cairo, one (if not the) largest collections of Egyptian artifacts on the planet. I have been obsessed with Eqyptology since I was about 6 or so (ever since my mother, god bless her, got me that very colorful and engaging book on the ancient Egyptians mummifing procedures). I also consider Zahi Hawass one of my personal heroes, up there with Gandhi and Rosie the Riveter. If you don't know who Zahi Hawass is, shame! His name shows up in the news a suprisingly huge amount for a lowly Egyptologist. Well, he's not really lowly. He has so many titles and honors I can't really list them all (check his Wikipedia page for a start). He is widely considered largly responsible for the return of a fantastic amount of Egypt's history back to Egytpian soil (a Herculean feat, if you consider the political climate of the age), and while I am sure there are more than a couple irritated buracrates and stuffy British or American professors locked in offices somewhere cursing the very ground on which he walks, I think a very inteligent and learned person who has dedicated so much of their life not just to returning the objects that tell the story of their country's rich and fascinating history back to the land from which they came, but also seeking to display, protect, and study them to learn more about that history and teach the public and the world (at the same time giving the tourist trade a very good reason to detour through a country they might otherwise miss, bringing more valuable money to a country that could certainly use it)is worthy of being idolized.
Jeepers, I think I got a little off-topic.
Anyway, as the complicated political situation turned from sullen sparks into a full-on bush fire throughout the city and the country, I and appearently the rest of the educating world watched in horror as present day political disagreements (and remember, as you watch people tossing Molotov cocktails over the barriers in downtown Cairo, I mean disagreement in a strong sense) threatened thousands of years of one of the richest and most important civilizations in our history.
I may sound over-dramatic, but you need to understand my point of view. For example, of all the horrors and unspeakable evil that have occured over the years in the Middle East, the one picture that can, and probably always will, be able to make me disolve into tears no matter the situation is this one:



That is Mushin Hasan, deputy director of the National Museum of Iraq in Baghdad in April 2003, sitting in the ruins of what used to be one of the museums prized exhibits after vandals and looters broke in looking for riches to steal and sell. Thousands of years of irreplaceable history from the very cradle of civilazation, destroyed forever in one careless night. To me, this is a crime on the scale of murder. It is a genocide of history, of knowledge. By destroying what is left of the lives of dead people, we destroy the only thing that holds them here. By destroying their remnants, we destroy them.
Hopefully this can convey the level of my horror as I watch, thousands upon thousands of miles and an ocean away, unable to do anything as thoughtless actions destroy irreplacable parts of history, and hundreds of years of hard work and study. Several major news sorces have published something on the break in at the actual Museum in Cairo, but the worry has not abated for the rest of the country. Many if not most of the most important archeological sites (for those laymen among you who won't get it if I start naming any places that haven't shown up in the movies: when I say 'archeological site', think 'The Sphinx') are very out of the way, and virtually unprotected. The Valley of the Kings, for example, not to mention hundreds of smaller and largely remote sites scattered all down the Nile and through what was the Lower Kingdom.
One thing that has, for the moment, restored my faith in humanity are the suprising and quite impressive actions being taken by Egyptian citizens all over the country. The break in at the National Museum, as mentioned in the above article, was relatively small considering, thanks largely in part to a human shield created by locals who linked arms and physically placed themselves around the museum to stop anyone getting in.
I was especially struck by the story of a group of Alexandrian youths who are now being thanked for their actions, which included guarding neighborhoods, directing traffic, and protecting public buildings -including the Library of Alexandria. (Read about it here, about halfway down).
Many remote sites are being protected by local villagers, who have been doing things like camping in the sites overnight to protect them. It's amazing and inspireing to see the actions of a country who is so proud of it's history and culture.
Interestingly,it also seems I am not the only foreigner with a need to help! Among the amazing efforts going on outside the country is a very clever way of getting help to places that are in danger that works around the country-wide technology blackout. A scientist in Egypt will call someone in the U.S. or a similarly equipped country with news of a place that might be being looted. This person will find the GPS coordinates of these sites through the internet, using Google Earth, among other things, and then relay the information back to the scientist on the ground, who will then relay the information to the Egyptian military. Telling soldiers which archeological site is in danger is relatively useless, but giving coordinates ensures they have something to work with.
So do what you can people, please (obviously the most important thing is for the next month or so, don't buy any Egyptian artifacts! The market's about to get flooded with stolen loot, and the best way to deter the actions are to make them unprofitable.) So please, watch the news people, and do anything you can. Also, please join me in a hearfelt thanks to all the people who have been working so hard to protect the history and culture of a country in danger. One people's history is the world's history.
And if anyone's feeling nice and depressed now, I can only suggest a good look at the closest thing I have to fuzzy therapy. That's right, bookstore cats.
Sorry that this post has almost nothing to do with my actual life. But, school's back in session. Expect more updates soon.

If you're interested in reading more, here's somewhere to get started:
'MSNBC- Archaeologists Assess Tut Tragedy'
'Discovery- Egypts Tombs and Temples Under Siege'
'National Geographic- Egypt's Antiquities and Looting (has video)'
'National Geographic- Zahi Hawass and the Egyptian Museum'
'Science Magazine- Archaeologists Hold Their Breath'
'Discovery- Egypt's Treasures: Assessing The Damage'

I know the is not, unfortunately, the post you've all been waiting for, but since everybody's a little starved for news at the moment and because I was so tired I started narrating this incident in my head the minute it started, I thought what a waste not to write it out, right? Here goes:
I woke myself up on accident at about 5am, which was, sigh, only about 45 minutes ago. I lay in introspective silence for a couple of minutes, meditating on the coming day (i.e. swearing in my head that it's the first day back at school today, and fighting not to look at the clock to see how long I had), when I realized I was not alone (dun dun DUN - stick with me, folks). There was a very definite sound of chewing coming from the right corner under the window. BTW, that's about 3 feet away from my head. Now, I should first of all point out that I am not squeamish. I have worked summers in a zoo for the last 5 plus years. Heck, I practically LIVE in a zoo back home. But while I can handle ants, mosquitoes, snakes, cockroaches, and even mice without any problem, rats give me pause. Rats fight back. I've been bit by rats before, and that friggin hurts. Plus, those were lab rats. God knows what the average Mexican house rat is carrying. Needless to say, I froze, and than spent a good, slightly sleep-addled three mintutes trying to decide what to do. Eventually, I made a break for the door and the lightswitch, on the off chance that would scare it off (like THAT'S ever worked). I waited for 5 minutes. Didn't work. I went to the kitchen for the broom (scaring the bejeezus out of my host mother on her way back from the bathroom, I might add). I wacked around the general area from 4 feet away and on the bed. I should note, I wasn't actually that worried that the rodent-creature was in the house, or even in the room. I've lived with some sort of small hairy creature in my house for my whole life, so from experience, I was a lot more worried the little bugger was either in my dirty clothes hamper or my shoes. I had a $50 pair of high heels and my favorite jeans on the line, after all.
Meanwhile, the noise had stopped. I had liberally wacked the area, so I figured whoever was over there probably knew I was awake. The lights were still on, and it was well on the way to 5:30 at this point. I should note that I'd been on brake for more than 2 weeks. This was the earliest I'd been up in a long time. I layed down on the bed (feet pulled in. I'm not stupid, I've watched all those crazy vintage Mexican horror films). I was almost asleep when something very definetly rustled, this time from my trash can. Actually, I don't have a trash can, I have a big gift bag left over from my birthday, which is full of trash. I was fairely certain it had nothing but crumbled paper and Kleenex in it, and spent another 3 sleep-addled minutes trying to decide both how to proceed, and if whatever was in that bag might be interested in the *ahem* dried contents of a Kleenex. Suddenly, I realized I was sitting on my bed at 5 in the morning in my PJ's, sitting on my bed with my legs underneath me, holding a broom and staring at a corner that may or may not have contained some small, hairy, completely freaked out little creature. I spent a little while being properly ashamed, than decided there was no way in hell I was going to fight this in my PJ's, and since I was good and woken up by this point, I might as well get up and get ready for school. Keeping an eye on the offending corner, I got into my annoying school uniform, thanking god for the first and last time that the mandatory Mary Jane's were hefty enough to use as a makeshift hammer. I grabbed the broom, tipped the bag over, and sorted through all the trash on the floor. Whew. Nothing there. I had gotten a plastic bag, leaned over, and was about halfway done with putting all the trash into it to take out to the outside can when I looked to the right in time to see something small, drak, scuttly and really freaked out make a break from one end of the overturned 'garbage can' to the other. Now, at this point we are going to utilize one of the coolest side-effects of human evolution- our imaginations. We are going to believe that I calmly got to my feet, calmly left the room, and calmly stood in the hall for a little while while I decided what to do next. I re-entered the room, gathered up the bag with the help of the long-suffering broom, and transported it carefully to the bag patio and into the happily waiting care of our aproximately 100 lb. German Shepherd to shred ten kinds of crap out of it. Then I went back into the house to finish getting ready and eat breakfast.
That's where the story ends, right? Boy, I wish.
See, the behavior of the thing in the bag made me think it was not very coordinated and couldn't climb at all. I was halfway to convincing myslef I had just fed Zeus (the Shepherd) a baby rat or something, and I was almost feeling a little guilty; and it would have ended like that if I hadn't realized I forgot my school tie on my desk, which is incidentally located right next to the previous location of the ill-fated garbage can. I reached for the tie and for probably the 85th time that morning scared the crap out of something small, dark, scuttly, and freaked out. Something which was standing or sitting or waiting right next to my hand. Thing is, the lights in my room kind of suck. So through my...we're going to use our imaginations again and call it suprise, and the little basterds swift movement, I actually never got a descent look at it as it took off back across the desk and off the edge behind it (therebye refuting my rat theory). At this point, I decided I had had enough, so I grabbed my backpack, calmly shut the door and calmly went off to the kitchen to make breakfast.
So that's my story, folks. It was small, scrabbly, black and not a rat.
Yes, ladies and gents, I have finally found the elusive baby chupacabra. Just thought someone should tell science or something.



Expect a more coherent post that wasn't almost completely typed on my replaced Kindle's (!!) internet function at 6am while I was waiting for the bacon to cook and wondering why the middle burner on the stove occasionally spends 10+ minutes at a time making a sound like it's auditioning to be a jet engine.

Note: The picture is not a chupacabra, it's actually a baby Aye Aye. They're very endangered, and, I think, kind of cute in a pathetic way. Also possibly related to Joe. Oh, you don't believe me? It's so hairy! And take a good look at those eyes. Tell me I'm wrong.