I know the is not, unfortunately, the post you've all been waiting for, but since everybody's a little starved for news at the moment and because I was so tired I started narrating this incident in my head the minute it started, I thought what a waste not to write it out, right? Here goes:
I woke myself up on accident at about 5am, which was, sigh, only about 45 minutes ago. I lay in introspective silence for a couple of minutes, meditating on the coming day (i.e. swearing in my head that it's the first day back at school today, and fighting not to look at the clock to see how long I had), when I realized I was not alone (dun dun DUN - stick with me, folks). There was a very definite sound of chewing coming from the right corner under the window. BTW, that's about 3 feet away from my head. Now, I should first of all point out that I am not squeamish. I have worked summers in a zoo for the last 5 plus years. Heck, I practically LIVE in a zoo back home. But while I can handle ants, mosquitoes, snakes, cockroaches, and even mice without any problem, rats give me pause. Rats fight back. I've been bit by rats before, and that friggin hurts. Plus, those were lab rats. God knows what the average Mexican house rat is carrying. Needless to say, I froze, and than spent a good, slightly sleep-addled three mintutes trying to decide what to do. Eventually, I made a break for the door and the lightswitch, on the off chance that would scare it off (like THAT'S ever worked). I waited for 5 minutes. Didn't work. I went to the kitchen for the broom (scaring the bejeezus out of my host mother on her way back from the bathroom, I might add). I wacked around the general area from 4 feet away and on the bed. I should note, I wasn't actually that worried that the rodent-creature was in the house, or even in the room. I've lived with some sort of small hairy creature in my house for my whole life, so from experience, I was a lot more worried the little bugger was either in my dirty clothes hamper or my shoes. I had a $50 pair of high heels and my favorite jeans on the line, after all.
Meanwhile, the noise had stopped. I had liberally wacked the area, so I figured whoever was over there probably knew I was awake. The lights were still on, and it was well on the way to 5:30 at this point. I should note that I'd been on brake for more than 2 weeks. This was the earliest I'd been up in a long time. I layed down on the bed (feet pulled in. I'm not stupid, I've watched all those crazy vintage Mexican horror films). I was almost asleep when something very definetly rustled, this time from my trash can. Actually, I don't have a trash can, I have a big gift bag left over from my birthday, which is full of trash. I was fairely certain it had nothing but crumbled paper and Kleenex in it, and spent another 3 sleep-addled minutes trying to decide both how to proceed, and if whatever was in that bag might be interested in the *ahem* dried contents of a Kleenex. Suddenly, I realized I was sitting on my bed at 5 in the morning in my PJ's, sitting on my bed with my legs underneath me, holding a broom and staring at a corner that may or may not have contained some small, hairy, completely freaked out little creature. I spent a little while being properly ashamed, than decided there was no way in hell I was going to fight this in my PJ's, and since I was good and woken up by this point, I might as well get up and get ready for school. Keeping an eye on the offending corner, I got into my annoying school uniform, thanking god for the first and last time that the mandatory Mary Jane's were hefty enough to use as a makeshift hammer. I grabbed the broom, tipped the bag over, and sorted through all the trash on the floor. Whew. Nothing there. I had gotten a plastic bag, leaned over, and was about halfway done with putting all the trash into it to take out to the outside can when I looked to the right in time to see something small, drak, scuttly and really freaked out make a break from one end of the overturned 'garbage can' to the other. Now, at this point we are going to utilize one of the coolest side-effects of human evolution- our imaginations. We are going to believe that I calmly got to my feet, calmly left the room, and calmly stood in the hall for a little while while I decided what to do next. I re-entered the room, gathered up the bag with the help of the long-suffering broom, and transported it carefully to the bag patio and into the happily waiting care of our aproximately 100 lb. German Shepherd to shred ten kinds of crap out of it. Then I went back into the house to finish getting ready and eat breakfast.
That's where the story ends, right? Boy, I wish.
See, the behavior of the thing in the bag made me think it was not very coordinated and couldn't climb at all. I was halfway to convincing myslef I had just fed Zeus (the Shepherd) a baby rat or something, and I was almost feeling a little guilty; and it would have ended like that if I hadn't realized I forgot my school tie on my desk, which is incidentally located right next to the previous location of the ill-fated garbage can. I reached for the tie and for probably the 85th time that morning scared the crap out of something small, dark, scuttly, and freaked out. Something which was standing or sitting or waiting right next to my hand. Thing is, the lights in my room kind of suck. So through my...we're going to use our imaginations again and call it suprise, and the little basterds swift movement, I actually never got a descent look at it as it took off back across the desk and off the edge behind it (therebye refuting my rat theory). At this point, I decided I had had enough, so I grabbed my backpack, calmly shut the door and calmly went off to the kitchen to make breakfast.
So that's my story, folks. It was small, scrabbly, black and not a rat.
Yes, ladies and gents, I have finally found the elusive baby chupacabra. Just thought someone should tell science or something.



Expect a more coherent post that wasn't almost completely typed on my replaced Kindle's (!!) internet function at 6am while I was waiting for the bacon to cook and wondering why the middle burner on the stove occasionally spends 10+ minutes at a time making a sound like it's auditioning to be a jet engine.

Note: The picture is not a chupacabra, it's actually a baby Aye Aye. They're very endangered, and, I think, kind of cute in a pathetic way. Also possibly related to Joe. Oh, you don't believe me? It's so hairy! And take a good look at those eyes. Tell me I'm wrong.

This is going to be unfortunately brief, because I am borrowing my new host sisters computer to type it, and she wants it back. I am in my new family, and things are going well. Unfortunately, it is now my school's spring break, which means I am stuck home for 2 weeks. And guess what? They only have wireless. I would like to thank Ed for all the work he's been putting into trying to help me fix my computer, but it is still not working. And as a public service announcement to the rest of you, I know I've said this before, but just in case the people in space didn't here me, never buy Windows. Or anything to do with windows. Sure, I've had problems with my Apples before, but have I ever ever had something completely non-functioning right out of the box? Not even. This computer had never worked, and no remotely logical reason has ever been found. Complain all you want, tell me I'm wrong, but the one time I finally decided to take the plunge and give it a try, and it has royally...messed...with my life in a way I did not want or need. So, I really am sorry. I wish I could tell you more, but as in most failed endevors, it's going down, once again, to failed equipment. See you in February, unless the miracle monster strikes.

I should be able to put up a semi-coherent post either today or tomorrow, but right now I just fell asleep for five minutes on my keyboard. That said, if you want something to read, check this out. I laughed a lot. In other news, if you have got some time on your hands, start watching White Collar! For example, yesterdays episode had an interesting misuse of a motorizes wheelchair, Neil in a t-shirt (I was shocked),and then we got to see Peter chase down Harry Dresden on a commandeered (there´s no spell check on this computer) police horse. I should probably apologise to Paul Blackthorne right now, but I am never going to be able to think of him as another character. Not that he is really the Harry I think of. I always imagine Harry as Timothy Olyphant.


Actually, I have an almost complete cast of the Dresden Files on my computer. It is, once again, possible that I need a life. Somebody send me some knitting needles and yarn! I have started biting my nails again. Shame.
Wow. I really got off-topic. I completely forgot what I wanted to say when I started.
Drat.

Now that life has moved on and forgotten me, I am going to finally post the post you've all been waiting for...well, maybe not. But I'm going to try. First of all, sorry for the delay. It seems to happen ever time I want to do a post with a LOT of pictures. Because of the way I have to post pictures through Blogger, I have to do them as I come to them, or risk getting completely lost. To do this, I need an internet connection, and to get that, I have to stay hunched over a work bench with no legroom and a seat that is both uncomfortable AND too small for me. Which sucks. I am now thoroughly able to sympathize with the solitary hillbilly, out in the boonies of Kentucky, who still doesn't have wireless. Groan. Anyway, here's some of my life for the time being: I would like to wish my host brother, Louis Fernando, a happy birthday! I'm glad you liked the shirt so much. I want to once again extend condolences to the family and friends of Senor Herrera. If there's ever anything I can do, please let me know.
As some people may know, the last 2 weeks or so have been a little hectic, in a non-productive sort of way. Firstly, the power went out again for a day, and then the internet went out for another 2 (we don't know what happened, it thought it was working, but no-one could use it. Extra fun!). Also, I was supposed to be swapping to my second family. Let me slow down and explain some stuff here: Firstly, everyone here in this club has 3 host families. I didn't know this until last week, but everyone is supposed to have about 4 months with each family. I currently have almost 6 with this family. We were then supposed to swap on 4 January. Okay, I was nervous but excited, I spent a hellish day trying to get everything I own packed (not especially because I have a lot of stuff, but because I have a lot more than I brought with me, but nothing new to put it in). Then, that night, it turned out that for some reason, the other host families had delayed the process. They weren't ready to receive other kids, because everybody decided now was a smashing time to repaint the house, or go on vacation, or whatever, I don't know. So it got delayed until the 10th (after school re-started, because that'll make things easier <-this is sarcasm).
I again spent a whole 5 hours packing all my stuff, dragging it down the stairs, cleaning the room, putting all my sheets in the downstairs laundry, yadda yadda. Guess what someone finally remembered to tell me by 8pm, after I was done?
Yeah, I wasn't so pleased either. Yesterday was the 17th, obviously, and I FINALLY moved. Oh, BTW, I am typing this in school. I can't use the internet in the new house. So far, in the life of this irritating little machine (NEVER USING WINDOWS AGAIN! AAAAGH!), it has yet to function with the wireless in any private dwelling, here OR in the U.S. In Mexico, the only place I've been able to use it is in this school.
I like my room so far (pictures to follow, when I take them). It is significantly lacking in pink and dolls and little pink, doll-ish knickknacks (and a trash can and a laundry basket, but I'll live). It's definitely supposed to be a boys room (thank god), so it's blue and relatively Spartan. All the furniture got stuffed in there when they started construction on the back of the house, so none of the furniture is in a place where it actually fits, and none of the things that are supposed to be on the wall ARE on the walls. The whole room smells like wood polish (so now I do, which is interesting), and the bed is a twin, but too short so my whole body doesn't really fit on it, which is also interesting. I am so used to sleeping on the freaking giant King size bed, I need to get re-accustomed to the smaller bed. I don't think it will be that hard, I didn't like the big one. Also, the room has a giant window, but is significantly lacking in curtains. I don't mind so far, since I go to bed after the sun has set, and leave before it rises in the morning, but I imagine I will be annoyed by this by the weekend. One more week to go in the semester, and than SPRING BREAK (well, that's how it works here). 5 days to waste (i.e. sleep) how I please. Maybe. More to follow on the new house and, more importantly, the internet situation as it unfolds.
ALSO, mom managed to somehow get ahold of the Amazon.com folks and make them send me a new Kindle!!!!
I'm only telling you this so you'll have yet more proof that my mom is pure AWESOME.

I don't usually like to bring up politics or current events as much on this, because I am not at home so any misunderstandings can't be talked out. But this, this needs to be said:
Why haven't we heard about this?
This flooding started in JULY!! I asked around, no one around here has any idea what I'm talking about. Google it. You get 2 BBC articles and 1 New York Times piece that hasn't been updated since NOVEMBER.
This has displaced over 20 million people. The reported death toll is currently at over 1600 (and this is Pakistan. How well do you think this was documented?). I'll give you an example: Hurricane Katrina, the biggest natural disaster to hit the U.S. in almost forever, killed a grand total of 1836. New Orleans and the entire surrounding area's total population is around 1,360,436.
This is wrong.
I know the U.S. has barely enough money to take care of ourselves at the moment, but this should NOT be ignored like this. If a group of miners stuck down a hole can make worldwide headlines for weeks, why have we heard next to nothing about an ongoing event destroying the lives of millions and millions of people in an already tough part of the world which our government had an undeniable hand in dismantling?
Even if our government is not doing anything, this should not be ignored.


And I'll get off my soapbox. Have a good week!

As usual, I have a plan for a big, long, impressive post, but I haven't slept for longer than 4 hours at any given time over the last 4 days. So, rather than inflict that sort of horror on my poor, innocent, naive readers (sorry, I tried to keep a straight face), I would just like to say this:
I'm back, I'm not dead, Chiapas is awesome, I'm swapping families in 3 days (actually kind of looking forward to that), and a very happy New Year to all you sports fans!
Coming up next, a post which may or may not involve life changing events, retirements, ponies, musings on the future of my mom (don't worry, it's a good thing), many pictures, cave systems, giant-ass waterfalls, dead rabbits, food poisoning (sweet Jesus I wish I was making that up), musings on language, the end of the middle (NOT the TV show), New Years grapes, and where I am going from here.
Scared yet? You should be. Enjoy the symmetry, m4thl33t5, because the world is ending next year according to a badly misunderstood chunk of translations from a group of half-clothed crazy people whose entire system of government hinged on throwing people into large spring pools (that's a little simplistic, but I think the point still stands. Good grief, one of their major deities was the god of suicide, for crissakes!).
Anyway, Welcome to 2011, everybody!

I actually wrote a long, interesting, in-depth Christmas post. But, my computer crashed and took it down with it (Windows? Never again). If it is any help, I actually had to re-write this little blurb, because the computer crashed on it AGAIN. Do I know what is going on? No. For all I know, it involves the Space Monkeys from Firefly (geeeeeeek! geeeeek!).
I am leaving on a at-least-4-day-long vacation in about 20 minutes, and since my computer cannot even get internet IN the house, I am leaving it behind. I should be back in rotation before New Years, but since ya never know, Happy New Years! Sorry for all this, and I hope you had a fantastic Christmas or whatever holiday you celebrate (and that you enjoyed Matt Smith in his space-shark-drawn sleigh as much as I did).
So until next time, see ya!

In the immortal words of Chowder from Monster House: OhmygodohmygodohmyGOD I think I'm having a stroke!

Feliz Navidad, gente del mundo! Va a disfrutar tu nuevo ano?

I actually drafted this (god help me), but I can't seem to come up with something appropriately serious and appropriately festive, so we're down to this: surprise! I know I said I had something to tell you when I got home, but in true American fashion, I got bored (It had nothing to do with the fact that I didn't realize how hard it is to write about your life without including, you know, all of your life).
I'll give you a hint: This tattoo is very pertinent.

Surprised? Well, it's not like it wasn't there, but for about 5 years now I've adopted a sort of 'you ask, I'll answer' mentality, and so far it's (sort of) worked. But after the vanquishment (if that's not a words, I'm declaring it one)of Don't Ask, Don't Tell, I started to really think about what DADT stood for and how fucked-up that shit really was (pardon my Portuguese, but sweet Jebus, people). Eventually, I realized that if you turn my policy into a negative, you pretty much get DADT. If I can't stand the idea that other people should have to live like that, I can't make myself live like that in good faith.
If any of my new friends are reading this, I would like to ask you to politely keep it quiet. Talk to me if you want, but, honestly, I really like it here and my life can be really difficult without more people ostracizing me for being different. It's sad, but Mexico can tend to be a lot less tolerant than other places in the world, and you know that's true.

For the world in general, hi! If you love me, like me, or at least have some cursory human interest in my daily personal happiness, please treat this with the passing acknowledgment (rapidly followed by relative indifference) that is really deserves.

On the other hand, if you want something to wig out about, you can have this:
What's going to happen when my host family finally sees what I've been doing to my hair?

I'm sorry if this comes across as uncharacteristically bitter, but at the moment I am uncharacteristically bitter, so that's how it's gonna be.
First of all, I would like to thank all the wonderful people who pitched in for my frankly bossome birthday present. I got it on 5 December, and have been slightly married to it ever since. Unfortunately, I didn't realize quite how married until what happened today. To be honest, I don't really know what happened. It was running a little funny yesterday, but not funny enough to even be worrying, just exasperating. This afternoon, I turned it on, and it wasn't working. It looks like it has a crack or something in the screen (see the attached picture. Honestly, it looks like someone either hit or dropped it), but since nobody has touched it since yesterday and it was working then, I am hoping that the problem is somehow with the ink technology (maybe a magnet was pressed to that spot or something?), and warranty people can help me. However if it doesn't work out that way, I may be stuck (read:screwed). I am not going to write anymore, not because I haven't got more to say, but because hey, it might work out, and because we are throwing a Christmas party tomorrow, and I need to be of good cheer or risk bringing down the mood (and seriously pissing off a couple of very stressed and hard-working Mexican women who have been putting their all into this holiday season).So let me say, I am just so happy I got to play with it for the time I had it. Seriously, that was the coolest present idea. Thank you guys for proving you know me more than I know myself. Hoping this works out, and sincerely wishing you all a bomb-free (snerk) holiday season!